UUugh Memory Why Do You Fail Me?!?

[bethany zee]

This might be two fics melded into one in my head as I've searched so hopefully I can give you enough info to help.
Loki is living in Stark Tower for whatever reason.
When Darcy (maybe) takes him to a bookstore he is flabbergasted at the amount of books available.
Loki comes out one day as fem!Loki to shock and maybe push away the slowly growing relationship between everyone.
No one treats him any different to his own shock and Tony explains about trans, making sure to ask whether Loki should be addressed as a 'he' or a 'she'.
Darcy/Pepper/Natasha (??) take him for a girls night, buys a bunch of clothes for his female side.

Might be remembered correctly, but not 100%
- Loki/Tony and maybe Pepper? OT3 FTW!
- Loki is helping Tony in his lab.
- JARVIS alters all the pic/video of Loki during the attack.
- At the end a cameraman or some dude working at a news station remember clearly seeing Loki leading the attack on New York but for whatever reason doesn't do anything about it.

Please and thank you all.
AO3 and my google-fu has failed me.
Can't wait to read this fic again.
Peace.

**If I didn't tag this right please let me know!

Howard And Tony Stark

[shiralyndee.livejournal.com]

I'm looking for any stories where Howard Stark from the past was able to see the man his son Tony became. P.S. I'm also looking for a story where Howard's ghost sees Tony grow up.

Genderfluid!Loki finding out he/she is not alone (scene in a larger story)

[mira-eris.livejournal.com]

I'm looking for a fic of which I only vaguely remember one scene.

Loki is in her (I can't remember if she/he had any pronoun preferences or even thought like that at this point in the fic) female form, on a couch in Avenger's Tower with Tony. As far as I remember, she only takes on a female form with Tony, and even then only rarely. Natasha, I think (or possibly Bruce), walks in on them, seeing Loki as female for the first time, and simply asks what pronoun she prefers. Which is the point that Loki realizes that there are others like her (Asgard not being a very accepting place?). Loki is a bit shocked but happy.

Trouble is: as far as I remember this is only a scene in a larger story, which is not focused on this. I'm pretty sure it was Tony/Loki and that it was Natasha that walked in on them. Loki did not know that there were others like her/him who did not feel comfortable being simply male/female, or had doubts about their gender identity. Or that there even existed a pronoun for those that felt like neither. As far as I remember the Avengers were pretty nonjudgmental - can't remember what Thor thought.

I'd wager that this was a long fic, possibly 100 000 words or more, where this was a smaller theme, but the main point was probably fighting a bigger enemy or a Loki-redemption arch. It's probably at least a year old, likely more.

I've tried searching on AO3, but this isn't a small fandom and it doesn't help that I'm pretty sure the genderfluidity wasn't the point of the fic.

Help? 

FOUND: Specific fic: Steve has been shot in the head

[2012ohmy.livejournal.com]

Hi - this is my first request here - I hope I'm doing this right. About 6-8 months ago, I read a long fic (multi chapter or maybe part of a series?) where the main plot was that Steve was the victim of an assassination attempt - shot in the head, traumatic brain injury. The Avengers move him to a remote farm to recuperate - Peggy Carter goes to stay there, eventually Bucky comes too. Avengers come to visit in secret, but for Steve's safety, the world is let to believe he is dead. Hydra (I think?) features in a battle scene later on in the fic/series, and Natasha & Bucky face down a new Black Widow (who may have been the original sniper but I'm hazy on that point). Pretty sure the story was on AO3, but having no luck finding it myself. Would appreciate any help locating it - thanks so much.

EDIT: See comments for link to Domenika Marzione's 'Freezer Burn' series.